June 3, 2025

I asked a client who was struggling with feeling lost and unfulfilled recently what she would do if she thought no one was watching or judging her. And I think she surprised herself by how quickly the answer came. She had been tap-dancing from one job to another for years trying to make something that didn’t fit work instead of taking a chance on what was really in her heart for fear of what others would think and feeling not even good enough to try. As we talked about the dream she had exiled for so long and the possibilities of what she could do if she allowed herself the freedom to express it, her body language started to shift and I could sense a brightening of her entire being. We did a Reiki session which helped her to release some of the tension and anxiety she was carrying, and to help her feel more grounded and secure. And we consulted the cards where she was able to ask specific questions for insight and inspiration. By the end of our time together we had devised a small hit list of steps and projects that she was excited to get started on in the direction she actually wanted to go.

The overwhelm of images and expectations, and the temptation to perpetually check in to see what everybody else is doing on social media is stealing our joy and authenticity. It’s subduing our wildness. This client had convinced herself that it was all already being done out there, that everyone else had more experience and education, and so why should she even try. She had lost confidence in her uniqueness and feeling that what she had to offer was worth putting out into the world. It was beautiful to work with her and to see her come back to herself. I can’t wait to see what she creates!

There was a time in my life when I struggled with the fear of judgement on many levels. But through time my need to live a creative life and my craving for wildness has taken it’s place. For me there’s an gnawing emptiness without authenticity and creativity. Even if the effort results in a clunker, who cares? The process of possibilities, problem solving, getting dirty and just plain taking a swing at it feels pretty great. The photo below is case in point. A few years ago my husband Ames asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I said a glue gun and a couple of days off. I had a wild hair to make a dramatic headdress and kick up my heels under the moonlight. Ames and I threw on our garden wellies, turned up some music, opened a great bottle of wine and I got to celebrate my birthday in our meadow under the moon. It was fantastic. I sent my mom a photo and she asked me what it was for and where was I going in it? I told her I just wanted to wear it and that I was going out into the backyard with Ames to whoop it up. She was very amused but still perplexed and asked but why would I want to make something like that? And I said because why not?

I got the itch again when we had the extraordinary Aurora Borealis in our southern skies. It seemed like something we should celebrate! I scoured the house for head dress elements and found the box I had just opened that day that my mom had sent a fresh supply of banana bread in, and it fit perfectly over my head. I had an amazing pair of silver sequin boots my sister had found for me while we were thrifting recently.  And between our crap closet as well as a few bins of fabric scraps I’ve collected through the years, I was able to pull it together in a couple of hours. The colors in the sky were magnificent and I did my best to add my own interpretation of colors to the experience!

How would you express yourself if you thought no one was watching or judging you? If you have a penchant for crazy head dresses and meadow dancing, please let me know.